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On earth, as it is

by Kolessa

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about

For a time, every day, they both dug their hands into the dirt, woke with the sun and slept soon after the fire died while sipping a small cup of last year’s wine; in those times, it was possible to know, beyond faith, or belief, that G-d was watching them, and working in them and through them, even when they felt wrath or sorrow. That G-d worked in every footstep, from the imprint left in the ground, to the worms and insects sent to the surface because of the vibration, to the birds that came to take them in their beaks, to the wind that carried the birds from tree to tree.

And then they came to the cities, where all the dirt was hidden under cobble and brick. And if they knew before that G-d was in everything, then there, truly, G-d was all around them; though the faces in which G-d appeared were scarred, weary, though the bodies through which G-d moved were diseased. They sat with the sick, with their teeth clenched, and their noses wrinkled.

In a quarter of the city farthest from the entrance, they saw the heretics. They would no longer use that word, but some of the roots of that old habit remain within them. There, they worshiped, even though the creeds were unfamiliar, and the music of the rites excited their spirits. They felt fear at first, but G-d seemed to smile upon the proceedings in ways that reminded them of the morning services of their village. Knowledge and experience deepened at once.

The morning before they returned home, they passed by a crowd gathered at the entrance. A man, neither old, nor young, lay on the cobblestones. He was seized with pain, and the crowd laid hands upon him, an upon each other, so that at least he did not feel alone. Medicine was available, from a shop visible at the end of the long street - but there, the street was cleaner, and crowds were not allowed to gather. Perhaps the medicine was too expensive. Perhaps they weren't allowed into the shop.

One turned to the other. He had, in his heart, the idea that the poor dying soul on the street would be lost to the ages, unless he was converted. She, on the other, had the idea that the rules of the city didn't matter in the face of death - that someone could innocently enter the shop and leave with enough medicine - and the social orders which contained the city would survive such a thing. Their voices raised, toward each other for the first time in awhile. While they spoke, the crowd on the street let out their voices, slowly elevating to a cry of despair. The man was gone.

And so the next morning, he returned alone. She said someday she would rejoin him; but how could she live in heaven while the administrators of earth had so clearly forgotten G-d? They had embraced before he embarked upon the road. It would be the last time.

credits

released March 3, 2020

all compositions, keyboards, accordion, voices artwork: Adam Matlock
Mastered by Paul Whitehead


thanks to Terrence Malick, Fani Jägerstätter, Peter Hammill, Yoko Kanno.

to TS: I hope you find peace

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